Do these 7 things so you'll never feel lonely

Last year, one in three Londoners suffered from loneliness. In the US, so many people feel lonely it is considered a national health issue. I’d like to share with you my top seven ideas that are helping me at the moment so I never feel lonely.

This year, everyone I know has a new understanding of loneliness.

Were you used to spending a lot of time on our own? Or did you lead a hectic, busy life out and about all the time?

Whatever you were used to, I expect that’s changed this last month. April 2020 will stand out in history as a time when most of the world learned what isolation feels like. We know we have to do it, but it’s not much fun.

We’re wired to be sociable, yet…

We are genetically made to be one of a community, to have a partner, a family, and to be with others. Yet in this modern world, especially now during worldwide coronavirus lockdowns, many of us are spending a lot of time alone. So is it surprising that we feel lonely?

For many of us, going to work helps us to feel connected with others. Travelling on the tube or going to the gym, even if we don’t talk to anybody, means we have some human contact, sometimes even too much! Yet now most of us are not able to do that.

We’re staying at home.

And those of us who live on our own especially, are likely to be feeling isolated. Even if you live in a household with others, relationships can be tense and dynamics different when you can’t get out to spend time with other people or go to different places.

Moreover, once you get into the habit of being alone, it can be quite hard to break out again. We step back from the world, and the people in it, into our own inner lives. For some of us, that can be a difficult place to be.

Even in crises people retreat into their own space, instead of sharing with others. Just how many phone calls do you get these days, just to have a chat? Or how many calls do you make, to just have a catch up?

The truth is, once we start to settle into being alone, we also begin to feel reluctant to make a call, or even pick one up.

Make contact - it’s your choice

Throughout the quarantine period of this pandemic, it’s more important than ever to stay connected, pick up the phone or make that call. Right now, spending quality time with other humans helps us feel connected, even when that time can only be by phone or online.

So how do we break out of isolation? What do we need to do to feel happy and alive?

In my experience, the way to shake off feeling lonely is to make meaningful connections. It’s good to talk about subjects that matter to you. Let yourself be seen, valued and heard.

The question now is: How do I make these connections?

Never feel lonely - create meaningful connections

Consider who makes you feel valued, heard and seen. Choose to invest your time in connecting with these people. Write a list and call one person right now.
Instead of seeking new connections, seek to revisit and focus on people you already know and like. People you already have in your life. Reach out to that someone right away.
Make a ritual with people you need in your life. So connect with that same person at the same time every week. Get in the habit. Choose a time and send a video call invitation to start off.
Have deep conversations! Make those conversations meaningful. Talk about your feelings. To do this, plan three possible topics before you call.
If you’re seeking out new friends, then ask questions to stimulate conversations around feelings, and get deeper than that surface level conversation. Think up three questions that will help you understand what makes that person tick.
While we can’t socialise face to face, use online time to make comments that are active and meaningful. Take your interaction up a level. Why not challenge yourself today to upgrade your time on Instagram by responding with a few DMs?
Know that you can do it. You can make someone else happy right now. Pick up the phone and give someone a call. Ask how they are, re-connect, chat and share.

These steps really help me create moments that are meaningful, and builds deeper bonds with people I value and love. Creating strong connections, really is key to help pull ourselves out of that downward spiral that makes us lonely.

I would love to welcome you to my community over on Facebook, where I share lots of tips and advice to stay feeling happy, confident and fulfilled. You can also join me on Instagram here too.

Remember to try at least one of these 7 things each day this week so you’ll never feel lonely.

Lots of love,

Sirin xxx